Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Author Woman!

I consider writing romance sort of a super hero pursuit. This was my chance to reinvent myself, to do good in the world by creating cool worlds, to pursue justice, and to look hot in a leotard (metaphorically speaking, of course). When asked for a biography, I jazzed it up a bit. I mean anyone can say where they went to school, but who would think to say they have aspirations to be Wonder Woman? Now, that's interesting! I was so clever! I shared my clever biography with my husband.

"You should take this more seriously," he counseled.

Really? But I DO have aspirations to be Wonder Woman, and yet I do think high heeled boots are uncomfortable. What's not serious about that? Oh, the back pain when I have worn heels. UGH! How did Lynda Carter do it?

I'd love to impress my kids by some great accomplishment like flying or something like that. But as Author Woman! the best I could come up with was dedicating a book to them. I opened the book right up as soon as it came in the mail and showed it to them. "Look! Mommy dedicated this book to you! Isn't that neat?"

They looked at their names on the page. "You know what would be really cool, Mom? If you would write a book about aliens, that would be awesome!"

Aliens? But...I write contemporary romance. I haven't really stuck my toe in the science fiction waters as yet.

Note to self: write alien book to impress offspring.

My Super Hero Author persona got a big boost a couple of months ago when the newspaper did a story on me.

My neighbor saw me in the yard. He stood there staring at me for a while.

"Hey," he said.

"Hi," I replied.

"Saw you in the paper."

"Did you?" (I usually say something noncommittal like this until I know where the conversation is going).

"You think you know people." He shook his head and went back in his house, not really giving me time to see where the conversation was going. It was gone!

Hmmm. Perhaps he went to get his copy of my book. I hurried inside my own house to get my special light-up heart pen with the red feather. A Super Hero always has to be ready to sign books when asked by a fan!

(Cue the Super Hero Author Woman! music. It's a combination of the A Team theme music and Gone with the Wind. Turn on the large fan so my cape can blow prettily behind me. I shall now strike my Author Woman! pose with one booted foot pointed, knee slightly bent, and pen in hand.)


Magdalena Scott said...

Jennifer, I'm waiting for the Author Woman! photo to show up as your profile pic on Facebook.

Just sayin'.

Pretty sure it would get a big reaction from the offspring, too!

Genella deGrey said...

Cute post, Jennifer! (It sounds like your neighbor goes to the church I used to attend. Ahem. Eye roll*)

If I wanted to impress my offspring, I'd be writing Star Wars fan fic.

Well, at least the boys.


Jennifer Johnson said...

Ha ha, Genella! Actually the neighbor keeps inviting me to his church - but that was before he found out about me being Author Woman!

Genella deGrey said...

Ahhhh! Run away, run away! LOL!
Rest assured, Jennifer, he'll be praying for you. ;)

But like I've said on other blogs, God is on the side of the romance writer. We spread hope, love, joy and happily ever-afters for all (regardless of orientation.) I'd be wiling to bet that his church can't pull that off.

G., who believes in God, but is a former member of the Church of the Grinning Hypocrite.

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